Thursday, May 3, 2007

Ladies...this is what should have posted on Wednesday...

Today's I will have posted by this evening.

Leah As Wife—Neglected.

A few couples I’ve known for a while now are getting divorced. The house is up for sale. The kids are shuffling between houses. And, the spouses alternate between anger, relief, and remorse. Should they be getting divorced? I really do not know. To be perfectly honest with you, I have no idea at all what makes a good marriage good, and a bad marriage bad. I do know this: God Loves Love. God Loves Marriage.

He expresses his union with his people as though he were a husband waiting for his bride.

In Proverbs 31:10-12, Bathsheba speaks of the role of wife being good to her husband. It never speaks of a husband being good to her. Why? Bathsheba was addressing our own roles as women as wives. She was not addressing the institution of marriage.

Bathsheba would have been concerned with being a wife who does good to her husband, because she was complicit in defiling her own. Again, she is coming from a vantage point of a woman who has fallen, and is now getting up.

Bathsheba in her marriage to Uriah, I can imagine, felt very young, very sexy…and very alone. She married a man given to war. She married a man who would have rather served his country and King honorably with his men, than to spend even one night in the bosom of his wife. I had to ask my military husband what in the world was that about? He explained to me, that there are stresses involved in serving a country during a time of war. He said that there is a mindset that must be established and maintained to ensure that duties are carried out efficiently, but with honor and fidelity to mission. Furthermore, he said, removing a soldier from his troops disrupts that mindset. And, if we understand that war by definition is violent, and you remove the soldier from combat into a non-military surroundings, a good soldier will become uncomfortable, and either break repose(mindset), or he will make his surroundings adapt to his mindset (thus leading to domestic violence. A soldier returning from war must undergo some personal deprogramming before returning to the bosom of his home.

That being said, I doubt seriously that Bathsheba always understood her husband, Uriah’s desires to remain with his troops. I am going to infer that from her perspective she was an unloved and neglected wife. In a word, she was lonely in her aloneness. When the whole David scandal broke, and concluded, she found herself in a harem. She went from being the wife to being one of the wives. All of a sudden, the notion of neglect and lonely, I am sure, took on a whole different perspective. Now, she could relate to the world in which Leah survived. Leah was one of the wives. The lesser loved and neglected wife in a polygamous marriage. Now, “Wife Neglected” has a face and she speaks.

What does she say?

She says, “And her husband shall have full confidence in her. He lacks nothing of value. She does him good all the days of his life.”

Bathsheba did not say this because these actions made her marriage to David better. She did not say this because she was paying some sort of penance for Uriah. She said this because she realized that where she can not change her husband, his behaviors, and his priorities, she can change herself. She realized that she must be a good wife, because she is a good woman, regardless of whether her husband is good.

I am not saying stay in a bad marriage. I am not saying “stick” anything out.

Jesus said this:

Matthew 19

3And Pharisees came to Him and put Him to the test by asking, Is it lawful and right to dismiss and repudiate and divorce one's wife for any and [a]every cause?

4He replied, Have you never read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female,

5And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?(A)

6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).

7They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife?(B)

8He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been [b]so [ordained].

How did Leah deal with her situation as a neglected wife? What can we take from her situation?

...the answer tomorrow...
Tonight, really pray about and think about how you can best improve your marriage...good or bad....

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